Need your prayers & comments

Discussion in 'Partner Talk' started by LynnR, Aug 7, 2018.

  1. LynnR

    LynnR Lynn, Calleigh, Maggie &Molly, Patti

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    Dear friends, my next door neighbor who saved my life sent me the cruelest letter on the weekend. It was a holiday weekend here and the letter and the contents really caught me by surprise. I am devastated by this and don't know what to do I am so, so sad. I've lived in this house for 11 years and known her and have been a friend with her all this time. When I returned home from the hospital I needed a lot of help, I told Eunice I could hire someone to take care of me when I got home from the hospital and then claim it on my income tax, but no, she wanted to do it herself in spite of the fact that she had a single mastectomy and just got out of the hospital a week before me. However, when I got home, she kept coming over to see how I was, did my laundry, cleaned the kitchen, etc. etc. and I often told her she was doing too much.

    Then this past weekend I got this letter saying that I was cruel to Maggie & Calleigh for getting the puppy and that I kept saying I was broke because of Maggie's accident which was true - but I have given up trying to save because something always seems to happen when I try to save for something.
    She went on and on telling me what she did for me while I was sick and I couldn't believe she was the same person. Then I was talking to a neighbor across the street who told me she was complaining to her about me too. I know that I'm not perfect and I know that I make a lot of mistakes, and I also know that she is using me getting the puppy as an excuse. Everyone else has been so, so happy for me because I lost Patti so suddenly and no one else reacted this way except her. He is really a good little puppy, most of the time, but he does have his moments *I call them crazy puppy moments* He goes potty outside as long as I catch him after he sleeps and eats. He is also very obedient. I have been so upset about this I had to post it. Thanks for listening. Please :prayer: for me because right now I feel like a terrible person.
     
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  2. cathy.akers

    cathy.akers Well-Known Member

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    Don't give her the satisfaction she seeks. You are NOT a bad person. That title belongs to her for her actions.

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  3. LynnR

    LynnR Lynn, Calleigh, Maggie &Molly, Patti

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    Thanks Cathy, my Patti died suddenly June 24th and I was sad until I got Benji. He is a little sweetheart, and I am much better since I got him.
     
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  4. grandmatoall

    grandmatoall Bobbi, Sandy and Roxy. RIP Leo, TJ and Lilly

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    Do not let her bad behavior influence you to retaliate. Just having been through a massive, devastating surgery, her hormones are unbalanced. She is going through a hard time herself. She lost a part of her that defines her as a woman. When my mom had her mastectomy she reacted strangely for awhile. It takes a long time to adjust mentally from losing a part of your body.

    Be the same loving person you have always been and she will eventually come around. If she doesn't, then it is on her.

    You don't have to explain to anyone why you invested in your sweet little boy. He brought you comfort when you needed it most.

    I would not get into the discussion with any of your neighbors or friends. (except us, of course.) If they are talking to you about it, then they are talking to her also. Remain your sweet self, pray about it and things will work out for the best.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend. Hugs and puppy kisses. I am always here for you.
     
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  5. cathy.akers

    cathy.akers Well-Known Member

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    Those who have never, nor will ever feel what we feel in our hearts about our fur kids, are going to rear their ugly heads throughout our lives. I myself have 3 family members that would rather attempt to lay guilt trips, threaten to have me committed, and tell me what I need or don't need instead of just being there for me. Things they don't understand just scare the begezus out of some people, and they don't know how to deal with it any other way than to take it out on that person. Wait until they find out this happened . Lol[​IMG]

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  6. LynnR

    LynnR Lynn, Calleigh, Maggie &Molly, Patti

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    Thanks Bobbi, her letter was so shocking and unexpected and cruel and I am a very sensitive person so was devastated by it. Maggie & Calleigh are getting along fine with Benji. I'm not like that Bobbi, I've been avoiding her and will wait to see if she comes around, if not what will be, will be.
     
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  7. Candy

    Candy Owner/Admin Staff Member

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    I agree with what Bobbi and Cathy said, don't talk to other neighbors as they will spread it. Thats the way people are. Leave her alone and see if she comes around. Lynn we all know what a sweet person you are, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I too feel like something is going on with her. xoxo
     
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  8. KippersMa

    KippersMa Well-Known Member

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    I have had similar encounters during my lifetime and the best thing to do in a situation like this is to keep being the loving and sweet person you have always been. I kept reaching out to my "attacker" with special little treats or things I had made, canned, etc. It took a long, long time, but she finally was able to let go of what she thought was a great offense toward her and her husband. Both find it very difficult to forgive (even to this day, as she has shared other situations with me where she is so bitter and angry) and this acts like a poison to them. I, for one, would not want to live like that! Bobbi was right on when she mentioned the hormones and trauma a person goes through having an operation like she has had, but I also want to acknowledge your own near death experience and how that has made you feel especially vulnerable and needy. You need this baby to help you heal. Being an animal lover like I am, I have found that surrounding myself with those who support my love for my babies and those who can accept me for who I am and the choices I make for myself, has been the greatest asset to me. Try to forgive her, Lynn, as it will free you to be the dear sweet friend you want to be to her when she is ready to be your friend again. And definitely do not let any guilt feelings ruin your joy in the purchase of little Benji. It was your choice to make and you alone.
     
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  9. LynnR

    LynnR Lynn, Calleigh, Maggie &Molly, Patti

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    Thanks Susan, what you said really, really helped. That was exactly how I felt. Eunice will however never forgive me because she is very, very stubborn. I know taking care of me was a burden for her and she probably resents me for it now and just wants to avoid me. This illness made me feel helpless and also scared so I needed my friends more than ever. Sometimes I even had nightmares at night.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2018 at 6:52 AM
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  10. Candy

    Candy Owner/Admin Staff Member

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    Susan is right. I know you liked her Friendship with her. Try to let it go. I been through similar a few times also and had trouble making Friends. My Best Friend just moved to Seattle to live out her Life with her Family and i can't blame her. Now i am pretty much stuck here at home unless Syl takes me somewhere. Surround yourself with positive people :blowkiss:
     
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  11. cathy.akers

    cathy.akers Well-Known Member

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    I agree with everyone. You cannot let anyone's attitude change who you are.

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